I’m running low on attractive, and I feel the need for more,
You can scoot it all into a pile, just inside my door!
I’ll take that conventional mix, the one with a lot of root,
And add, if you think it proper, ½ a slip of cute.
Then spritz it with your spirits until it permeates the air,
So, een though none’s a lookin‘, they’ll all know when its here.
You can slider glide my attractive, with mountains of love on top,
Through chunky melts of chocolate, until you decide to stop!
‘Cause, I’ll have to swallow some attractive, to monitor my “Sincere“
So when I’m trying to listen, my words won‘t interfere.
I’ll be generous with my new attractive, I’ll share this treasured gift,
Don’t really need it for myself, it’s meant to give others a lift!
That’s all I’ll ask right now Dear Lord, I don’t know what else to do,
Everyone knows it’s not up to me, so I’ll leave it up to you!
Author: Grandpa John

“The two orders in front of you, yours and the two orders behind you were all for a 20 piece bucket of chicken, I’m Gonna Be Completely Out Of Chicken!”
These words came hurdling out of a smiling face, lurking behind an outstretched hand poised to rake in more money at Kentucky Fried Chicken’s Drive through window. What do you suppose he expected me to do, unload a pig as a backup? I suppose he could have changed the KFC sign temporarily to DBCGWH (Don’t Be Chicken, Go Whole Hog!)
Or, he might not of had any plan except to say “Hi, drive on by!” to those customers that have always taken fried chicken for granted.
Then I started to imagine what his manager is gong to do when he gets interrupted by the telephone with, “We have a small problem down at the store!”
It’s nigh impossible to gallop to the coop and quickly butcher more chickens when you’re running out of time, this is one instance when you should have started running when you were still in time.
A sign, “Everything ordered now will be ready for pickup in 24 hrs.” doesn‘t strike me as being very close to the proper solution either. What kind of a sign would you have made if you were the manager? Or what would you do?
“We chickened out and closed early?”
Meanwhile, I’ll keep coaxing my treadmill powered scooter uphill!

It is common knowledge that when a tree is felled, the rings in it’s trunk can be counted to tell the age of the tree. Whoops, not so fast! Not when one of those trees is a practical joker. Go ahead, tell me the age of this tree.


I don’t know where or how often this tree grew up, but I own this history slice. It appears like this practical joker grew up beside itself but allowed the loving outer rings to engulf him into the family tree. Or NOT? What do you think?
Meanwhile, I’ll keep coaxing my treadmill powered scooter uphill!

Home spun and still spinning!
Can you think of an incident more embarrassing than when you suddenly find yourself being the only one at the party that’s laughing out loud?
Yes, it’s when you suddenly find yourself in an incident where you’re the only one at the party that’s NOT laughing out loud!
Meanwhile, I’ll keep coaxing my treadmill powered scooter uphill!

Wait a second, isn’t there something to be learned here? The only purpose a bubble has during it’s entire life is to entertain. While it’s still liquid elastic, it stretches itself out across the void inside a hoop pretending to be a hi definition flat screen catching rainbows. During this act it is noticeably quivering with anticipation of reaching it‘s life‘s goal once freedom is unleashed. Responding to the slightest signal, the bubble swallows a spherical air ball of equal size and appears to propel it about three to four times it’s original speed for eight to ten feet down wind. POP! That’s it’s entire ticket ------ and once again, the audience’s common senses have been numbed to an “Imagine that,” as the crowd mills around in awe long after the final star has lost it’s twinkle.
Meanwhile, I’ll keep coaxing my treadmill powered scooter uphill!