The Bible is a viable, reliable source of news,
One can learn about the Gentiles, while studying about the Jews
A concordance in the back helps decide which verse to choose,
When the reliable, viable, Bible lies there handy to be used.

A lot of nothing becomes something, as creation starts to bloom,
God will share this power with us if we only give him room.
His lesson plan is easy and leaves nothing to assume,
As nothing becomes something from the manger to the tomb.

But, if like the wilderness wandering Israelites, we play our strongest hand,
And expect the almighty God to follow our command.
Expecting His holy angels to start marching in OUR band,
Then we’re taking His commandments and burying them in the sand.

“The choice is ours” promise, is a something really cool,
We can’t make something out of nothing and set it on a stool.
But we can improve almost every anything without looking like a fool,
If we'll only choose to use the Bible for a tool.

Its been so dangerously hot recently that two poultry farmers were talking about giving their chickens ice water, so they wouldn't ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- lay hard boiled eggs!

If you’ve heard this one, please accept my apology, if not, enjoy!
A police officer noticed a suspicious looking man loitering under a street light. As he approached the suspect for questioning, he realized that the man was intensely occupied, “Looking for something?” asked the officer. “I dropped my car keys,” replied the stranger. “I’ll help you look for them.” The officer’s bristly attitude softened dramatically as he began to assist this concerned looking gentleman. The officer was initially unsuccessful in locating the lost keys so he started kicking loose rocks aside with his boots. The stranger thought that looked like a good idea, so he too started kicking loose rocks aside. After they had hopelessly redesigned the landscape in that area and still found no keys, the officer asked the stranger, “Where do you think you dropped your car keys?” The gentleman stood up straight, looked down along a long narrow sidewalk, pointed to a distant tree, and said, “I think I dropped them near that tree over yonder.” “If you think you dropped your keys way over there, then why are you looking here for them?” “Oh, officer, the light is so much better here!”
We’re quick to say that this stranger’s ocean didn’t quiet connect with the shoreline, but how often do we give conditions instead of facts top priority in our decision making?

This is Meant to Be A Fun Blog Competition!
Open to Everybody; Submit Your Absolute Worst Opening Blog Lines! (In add a comment)
All Entries will be vulnerable to volunteer readers at large, to be graded on a scale of 1 thru 10, 1 being low. There are no prizes, just surprises!
I am offering the first three entries.
1- Caught up in the crisply warping tranquility of the winter sun deceased, striking, romantic full moon fragrances waft over from beyond, relentlessly teasing the acutely sensitive nostrils of human dignity, they ride astutely in scheduled, secluded, silent anticipation behind “The Hitch!”
2 - Inside a nearly filled to capacity crowded popular theatre, a sharp thrust of irritating rudeness ejects Ned plumb out of his seat, right onto his seat, swooshing him gingerly down the narrow aislewalk. Patiently but artistically, Ned threads the carpet fervently past the posse of late comers bent on occupying every available seat authoritatively, including the freshly evacuated seat standing empty, still expelling warmth to the touch.
3 - The judge in the suitcase, was forwarding his long form to the contestant when proceedings got caught up in the wind of ignorance and the contestant was stupefied, disqualified and exemplified! Without finding any further cause in his distressed suitcase, this undressed suitcase was discarded, naked and abandoned.

After an evening concert, I was caught up in the crowd of people who were walking back to the parking lots to find their cars. Suddenly, I had a thrilling surprise. For the price of the concert ticket alone, I was also being entertained by people passing people, people bumping into people, people breaking into faster lanes of foot traffic on the outer edges of the walkways! I was tempted to ask some of the most aggressive walkers what kind of a meeting they were running late for at 10:15 in the evening. There were even some fast walking idiots that didn’t wait for the green lights at the cross walks. They chose to risk quick hoofing it through the gaps in traffic, how stupid is that?
What sense of urgency could possibly drive a herd of humans into this kind of a frenzy? These folk were moving forwards inside a very narrow line of focus, totally oblivious to, “See, the stars are beautiful and look, there’s a full moon tonight.” Or, “What about those high heels frantically clickity clacking beside me, am I being inconsiderate?”
I almost stopped someone and asked, “What is your immediate goal and who will benefit most when you’ve attained it?” Would I have gotten a response? If so, what could that response possibly have been?
I continued walking, enjoying the stars peaking through tiny holes in a full moon sky and listening to the hurried clickety clacking like a metronome gone wild. As I walked, this question kept bouncing around in my innards. I came to the conclusion that this same question is a good one to ask myself for all occasions! What is my immediate goal and who will benefit most when I’ve attained it?